Murder off the Dancefloor

James O’Shea is an adorable twat. No, no dear readers, am not maligning my dance rival in a bid to win the top prize.

No, James, from my v personal perspective is just that – an adorable twat. And I say this from the bottom of my v full heart. (Quite a few people have said by the way, that they like the way I have ‘worn my heart on my sleeve’ – for the record I haven’t. At no point in the entire process do you see me explaining the real reasons for my being a tad emotional at times during training and filming).

Us wheelie competitors had a number of group discussions – most of which sadly, have not made the final cut. These were often interesting – especially the exchanges between Simone and me – (Ed: obviously not interesting enough to make the final cut). One discussion that stands out is when all six of us chatted about who our dance partners might be. At this point us girls knew – and we were sworn to secrecy. James, unlike, Harry and Paul, didn’t seem to be that bothered.

‘I hope I get Jade Goody.’ Was his only comment.

Cue sharp intakes of breath from the rest of us disabalos. This was April last year. Three months after Jade’s v sad death.

Never mind the X Factor eh, James, you adorable twat. More like the Shock Factor.

Or another O’Shea quote, on introducing himself to the rest of us: ‘My name’s James and I’m a carer. Only I don’t care very much.’ This made me howl with laughter – and respond: ‘Yeah, I freelance for the charity sector, but hardly ever feel charitable.’

Only joking folks – although it does remind me when I interviewed Bob ‘Saint’ Geldof back in 1989, in Cannes. (WOW Namedropping Alert.)
His presence was making my knees shake. (I had two knees, back then.)

Looking at my media pass badge, those fierce Irish eyes of his seemed to bore down into my stomach, and he said: ‘Don’t ask me about charity Diana. Who gives a fokking fok for charity?’ I had an exclusive on my hands. Never used it though.

I first encountered James in the first audition – in Stratford. And to be frank, well, he scared me a bit. There was a point in the audition process where all 25 of us had to freestyle disco dance on the dance floor, altogether (cue fair bit of arm waving, executing wheelies and wheelie spins and feeling like a bit of twat). David Tibballs asked us to head for someone to ‘duo dance’ with. I headed for James – and he for me – not because, I hope, of our being double leg amps but both sensed good dancing in our midst?! – but at last second of scooting up to James, I swung away into Grant’s path. (Grant was another one of auditionees and my girlfriend Jax who had been observing indicated he seemed quite good). I couldn’t help but register the hurt on James’ face – he probably won’t even recall this tiny moment in the whole DOW process – and James, if you’re reading this, I am sorry if you were hurt. But you did scare me a bit.

First instincts. Always right?

Certainly, in this case.

Note in this pic the concentrated look on my face as I attempt to deliver a prosthetic kick to James without attracting the attention of the others. . .
. . . but while I tried to poison my toughest competitor (have always been fascinated by the Borgias). . .

. . .James, in typical James fashion, moved in for the ‘Murder off the Dancefloor’ move – at 120 mph. . .

That’s all am saying at this point.

Watch DOW on 11 March to find out how. That’s if the Exec Producers and Editors have seen fit to put in the footage I have in mind. (Ed: if there is swearing involved, of course they will include!)

For all of you who can’t see DOW, I apologise. But will post something immediately after the show goes out 10pm to put you in the crime picture.

In the meantime, here are a couple of the adorable twat’s beautiful guns….. Bruno – eat your heart out!

Gorgeous face, shame about the legs, eh James?
Now, only
WOW could get away with such a statement.
Or can she?

Lovely lads – Elstree hotel, night before show 2.

Paul, Howard, Harry and James
(Howard is a Senior Researcher at Fever Media)


Glistener said...

Great laughs; thank you, Di.

And isn't Bob Geldof rather yummy in that photo? He never did it for me at the time but in retro......hmmmm

Diana Morgan-Hill said...

I concur dearest Glistener - as I did at the time I interviewed him, hence the knee shaker sentence. Utterly compelling dear Bob, if a tad 'unwashed'. As for you on Ouch - woo hoo - you go girl. Just popped on messageboards. You are my current inspiration darling x

Glistener said...

You are too kind. And I am nothing if not persistent!

Have started The Rapture. Not had time before as I was just reading the latest paperback edition of The No1 Ladies Detective Agency - Tea Time for the Traditionally Built. I didn't want to be distracted by apocalyptic horror when I was still entranced with charming tales of Mme Ramotswe