WOW has gone AWOL!

Or perhaps she's Morris/Boris Dancing?

So I (her Web Mistress) am taking over to bring you what our shy Di (you know her as WOW!) won't. . .

The following video was created with a true vision of love, by Lady Latina (WOW, I can confirm was last spotted heading for the hills on her mobility scooter, still sobbing) - click the link to watch:
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Vision of Love

And while I'm here, I'm going to slip in these wonderful words, which were written by Jennie Kravitz of Simply Dancing Partners:

"You don't need legs to be a Dancing Queen - just the will to thrill on the floor.

"I’ve never seen anyone take to the floor with more exuberance or sheer joie de vivre than Diana Morgan-Hill in this week’s final of Dancing On Wheels. She doesn’t have any legs to dance with - she lost them 19 years ago in the prime of her life - but boy, did she dazzle partnering Olympic swimmer Mark Frost in the quickstep.

"Ironically, as one of the judges pointed out, this was the first performance in the whole competition that brought the able-bodied audience to their feet. Diana and Mark flashed their arms and bodies in synchronicity, demonstrating a wonderful chemistry and warmth, and she was positively radiant.

"Her performance was all the more poignant given that the BBC producers saw fit to bring Diana back to Wandsworth Common, the railway station where a misjudged sprint for a train changed her destiny in a split second. As she said herself of the time before that fateful day in 1990: 'Another person...another life.'

"No wonder Diana faltered a little in training in the days ahead - as Mark said: 'When Di gets into one of her dark moments, we don’t take a lot in.' She often felt Brian Fortuna was patronising her, and is ruthlessly self-deprecating about the contrast between her 49-year-old broken body and that of her athletic young partner: 'I’m the old bag, and he’s the stick insect!'

"The couple have been the great tryers and improvers in this competition, compared to James, who lost his own legs at 19 and is still a young man, and his partner Caroline. The pair have been criticised throughout the contest for slacking off in training. What James has over Diana, though, is natural technical brilliance, not to mention an awesome amount of upper body strength. At the end of his final and very virile Jive, he leapt out of his wheelchair into a one-arm stand - just try following that. No surprise, then, that this athletic chap who can literally make his wheelchair hop, skip and jump, is the contestant going to the European championships in Tel Aviv.
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"But it is the look of rapture on Diana’s face as she raced across the dance floor which will stay with me for a long time.
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"As she put it herself: 'Just learning to dance was the winning ticket.' All of us who have spent decades in a dance-free zone before coming back to the floor will know what she means. And there is no excuse for anyone with or without legs who longs to move to the music to put it off any longer."

THE F WORD

No, not that one. . . The FOXTROT!

Some exclusive fotos from backstage of Dancing On Wheels – second show, broadcast tonight at 9pm on BBC3. And for The Foxtrot, ‘Hollywood-Hill’ has another fabulous frock:

Diana is nicknamed Hollywood Hill by the fruitilicious babe, Michelle Gayle - cause she said I look a bit like Natalie Wood:

(Ed: Yeah right – but what about without
the BBC make-up and fancy frocks?)

Di is dancing the Fabulous Foxtrot with the Fantastically Super Fit Mark Cockfoster Foster:

sadly, Mark is fully suited and booted
for the actual performance

Also tonight, Michelle Disney Fairy Princess Gayle and Harry Mancrush Maule are dancing The Rhumba. . .

. . .as are Simone Diva Milani and Kevin Strictly Loads of Camilla Sacre. . .

James Bunny Hop O’Shea and his flipping gorgeous partner, Caroline Fit One Flacky will be dancing The Foxtrot. . .

. . .but where, oh where, is she

?

Heather The Rack Small and Paul pass me The Prodigy Jacob are dancing The Rhumba too.

another fab frock for Heather!

Backstage - during filming – with the fabulous Heather (oh, that laugh of hers, just have to think about it and makes me smile!) and the Fantastic Fortuna, Mr Brian the Boss:

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Some shots, from our training sessions, of Brian and his wonderful Wheelchair Dance guru Mom:

Sandra Fortuna
training me in the ways of The Foxtrot
*
Is that Hollywood calling for Diana?
No, it’s the BBC Controllers requesting a meeting for
you and Brian ‘F’ Fortuna to discuss your use of
THE F WORD. . .

*

And finally – another F word. . . the fans! The Fortuna Fantastics keep cropping up everywhere – and seem to be getting younger and younger. . .

To finish, WOW Watchers, click here to read an article from The Mirror’s TV Editor Jane Simon.

MEDIA BITES:

THE GOOD. . .

Radio Times
‘Pairing celebrity dancers with wheelchair users sounds like tabloid television, but the result is beautiful – and deadly serious.’ Danny Scott

‘There’s an obvious emotional weight to the Strictly-style story of first-timers finding their rhythm, but this is an absorbing contest in its own right. Training the couples is Brian Fortuna, who ditches his nice-guy persona and starts swearing and cracking the whip, eyes smouldering, top three buttons thrillingly undone.’ Jack Seale

Sunday Times
‘…a faithful and utterly compelling version of the popular Strictly format.’ Culture TV listings

The Independent
‘In Dancing on Wheels, the BBC provided a welcome variation on the increasingly mindless string of dance programmes dominating our screens. Six wheelchair-users are paired with "celebrity" partners, and given the chance to compete for a spot representing Great Britain in the Wheelchair Dance Sport European Championships. Honestly, I'd no idea such a sport existed, though it seems that's not saying much. It is, apparently, practised in more than 40 countries by upwards of 5,000 competitors.

‘Admittedly, the programme's choice of celebrity was a little random (Heather Small from M People, anyone? Jake Dean off of Hollyoaks?), as are the judges (two dancers from Strictly Come Dancing and the former wheelchair-basketball player Ade Adepitan), though that's more than offset by Brian Fortuna. He was in charge of coaching the contestants and was completely brilliant. Gone was the sappy nice guy persona he maintains on Strictly, replaced instead by a kind of foul-mouthed New York stage school sass. When the peculiarly sideburned James (accompanied by TV presenter Caroline Flack) dared to criticise his choreography, he virtually hit the wall, leaping all over the place spitting profanities. He was perfect. Though I do wish he'd stop wearing that stupid baseball cap.

‘Each week, one couple is eliminated. Last night, it was the lovely Carolyne and her partner, the former rugby league player Martin Offiah, which was a shame because they were one of my favourites. Now Carolyne's out of the running, I'm throwing my weight firmly behind Di to win. She's got a wicked sense of humour, and plenty of guts. Much to her delight, she's partnered by Mark Foster. "Aren't I a lucky girl?" she giggles. Actually, I'd say he's the lucky one’ Alice-Azania Jarvis

Time Out
‘Another week, another competitive dancing showcase. And annoyingly, its tougher to be dismissively cynical about this one. Dancing on Wheels features wheelchair users competing in a combi event which involves one able-bodied partner. On paper, it could be fist-bitingly patronising, but happily everything about this competition is serious and unsentimental. That’s partly thanks to the competitors,who are a feisty, cheerfully argumentative bunch (particularly Diana, pictured who ‘doesn’t want to be this show’s John Sergeant’), but mainly down to mentor Brian Fortuna. Brian’s a sharp-tongued, occasionally snarky presence and a hard taskmaster, towards both able-bodied and disabled contestants. Furthermore, the winners won’t be gushing their way to temporary media ubiquity……

‘It’s a shame a slot couldn’t be found for Dancing on Wheels on BBC1, as this could well be rather more stirring and less desperate than most talent shows in recent memory.’ Phil Harrison

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THE NOT SO BAD. . .

The Sunday People
‘Finally a reality show that gets it right – BBC3’s Dancing With (sic) Wheels

‘Dance pro Brian Fortuna teaches six wheelchair users to ballroom dance, as each is paired with a celebrity. It’s Strictly Come Dancing – but where the contestants’ stories actually have a meaning and the effort and energy put in is genuinely impressive. (As opposed to the main show where the whopping great pay packet and desperation for fame take over).

'You just had to feel for contestant Di when she told us: ‘Just moving in a straight line is tricky.’ That’s alright luv, you should have seen Jo Wood. Just moving was tricky enough for her.’ Jon Wise – aka The Wise Man of TV

WOW BITES BACK (or is it a nibble?)
WOW says: Jon, Jon, Jon – could we please get the quote correct? What I actually said to Brian was: ‘Straight Lines? – F*** Off!’

. . .AND THE DOWNRIGHT UGLY

ASSUME OF THE WEEK (If you "assume", you make an ASS out of U and ME.)

Sunday Times
‘To end on the high point of the week: you remember Monkey Tennis? From Alan Partridge’s list of TV proposals that were patently absurd? This could be one of them. Dancing on Wheels. Almost literally car-crash broadcasting. I wish they’d filmed the meeting where the disability access convener proposed it. And, one by one, editors and commissioners nodded that they thought it was an innovative and entertaining idea whose time had come.

‘It’s not that dancing in a wheelchair is absurd. People can do whatever they want: dance in wheelchairs, without wheelchairs, in wheelbarrows. What was misbegotten was the format of pairing men and women with able-bodied partners who weren’t professional dancers but those celebrities bred specifically for reality shows, who then are made to do all the predictable, stressful “work”, get knocked out by judges and burst into tears. It’s not the wheelchair that’s humiliating, it’s the vile format pasted onto the disabled to give it an extra twist of pathos. And what does wheelchair dancing look like? What do you think? Silly and kitsch. If it were in a club or at a wedding, it would be as exciting and touching as anyone else dancing. In a reality show, it’s manipulation on wheels.' AA Gill: The Culture
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WOW Bites Back:

WOW says: Nice Food Critic, Shame about the Novel, eh Adrian? Expect you may well get gout from all that lovely food you endlessly consume (or God forbid end up with a disintegrating leg due to a poisoned oyster like your food fight friend Michael Winner) and have to resort to wheels or even a wheelbarrow to get into the lovely restaurants you so frequently inhabit. That’s if you can get in, of course. Wonder if you’d look Silly and Kitsch?

WOW Watchers: More Reviews/Previews next week….