IT’S A WRAP (PARTY) part one

Thought you wonderful WOW Watchers might enjoy some views of the Dancing On Wheels wrap party:

WOW decides to pay her own personal tribute
to Michael Jackson (RIP) in glitter jacket,
with Neil Rubi Rubenstein
(Ed: We could always hang her up from ceiling
and spin her round
– a new take on the disco ball?)
*

Brian with WOW’s gorgeous daughter, Lara
*

dance contestants pass judgement on
WOW’s DOW photo memory album
created by WOW especially for Brian
*

David Tibballs, Exec Producer on DOW,
with Pippa, Brian and Kristina

A SMILE IN A WHISPER

Some Final Thoughts*, Di’s Diary, July 2009

(*as in thoughts from my diary, not WOW’s final final thoughts. You didn’t think I would go that easily, did you?)

So Mark and I are in the Final.

Surreal.

To think I wasn’t even in the ‘contest’ initially. And then to be paired with Mark, who, from what I can gather, received some scathingly Judgemental comments about his performances in Strictly. And I am 20 years older than any of the other contestants. Well, on those facts alone we were the rank outsiders at the beginning.

But I remember the turning point so clearly that hot day, just weeks ago, in the hottest dance studio when Brian and I were dancing so fluidly and then Mark and I did and Brian whispers to both of us, "You know guys, this was possibly only a one or two horse race, I think all that’s changed now."

And then he shouts (Bronx style): "I am pumped!"

It wasn’t only Mark and I connecting on a friendship level immediately, that helped. I think it was the laughs we had on that day that, to me, turned the whole difficult process around.I had underestimated the brain strain of taking so much instruction in, using a ‘different’ language – the language of dance, plus getting my body to move in new ways. (Although this latter part does come more easily to me – nothing could be as difficult as learning to walk again on prosthetics. It took me 6 months – and walking up and down in parallel bars with my walkman on, pacing up and down up and down like a caged lioness, until I had got it right. )

There are also the added pressures of having the cameras around, and being almost permanently miked up for sound – although it is true, you do forget about them (the equipment, not the people behind them), but the unreal world is very real when it comes to pressure. The stress upon Brian, (choreographing 6 dances for 6 different, very different couples, the demands of the production etc) is extreme.

Brian’s stress was palpable on that day vibrating in every one of his movements, and frequently in his voice.

We were working hard and I could feel the stress in Brian’s body but it was Mark, as I recollect, who cracked a few of his subtle jokes, then I did, then Mark (it was stifling in the room) suddenly took his top off and attempted our opening tango move. I laughed so much could hardly get my words out. ‘I …am ..not.. I cannot.. dance with you like that. It's like dancing with a freaking ..a ..an upmarket Chippendale..’

All of us relaxed after that. And the dancing flowed.
.
And does, and so does the humour. Most of which is unprintable. (And certainly not viewable. One infamous moment came last week when Brian yelled something at me and even Neil ‘Rubi’ Rubes put the camera down, his mouth hanging open in shock. Even I was speechless.)

It’s is the same with Pippa. She kept (and still does now) calling me Diane. Which I hate. Then she told us that ‘Pippa’ in Polish means the ‘C’ word. So every time she calls me Diane I just shout – Oy, Polish Pippa, what’s my name?

So hardly a smile in a whisper, eh Pippa, more Shout Shout, let it all out. By Tears for Fears.

I do have fears (about this final week). And there’s bound to be tears. As long as there’s smiles and laughter as well.

Bring It On.

FORTUNA FANTASTICS LOOK AWAY NOW!

the things WOW has to do in the name of dance -
it’s a tough job, someone’s got to do it!
(Ed: someone seems to be enjoying this training
a little too much...)

TRAINING
Dance: The Waltz (and repeat of The Tango)
Music: Fascination, Nat King Cole, Pa’ Bailar (Tango)
Debrief: Sunday
Training Days: Monday - Thursday
Training Hours: split between Brian and Pippa, with some help from Kristina.

the things Harry has to do in the name of dance…
it’s a tough life eh?

Tricky Moves:
(1) Getting down from the ramp on the floor to Mark in time with the music.
(2) Being ordered by The Boss not to let Mark kiss me until the live show. . .
(3) Not throttling James, when he - having broken his wheelchair - dismantled the whole thing in one of our training sessions, knowing full well Brian would stop training us in order to fix it (Brian is not only highly accomplished at most everything he turns his hands to, he is also a bit of geek). He fixed it – two hours later (with Mark’s help). Then Mark had a go at my chair:
Number of jellybeans consumed this week:

the trouble with jellybeans is that WOW has quite big hands
and once you have developed the ‘scooping’ action required,
before WOW realises, the whole lot has gone
(Ed – she also has a big mouth)

Back to training:

Pippa shows us how not to hold our arms in separation.

We have a go.

is it back to the effing Albatross again?

Most over-used word of the week/Star of the Show: Ralph (who's Ralph? click here!)

WOW sense of achievement: High (again) mainly due to getting to practise kissing with two hunks of burning love….

Filming with these crazy people is making us go a bit bananas:

Neil Rubi Rubenstein (Producer/Director) and
Lucy Lu Bauckman (Production Assistant)
can't stop monkeying around

THE SEMI-FINAL LINE-UP:

(with Kristina Rhianoff)

(with Lucy Bauckman, Production Assistant,
and Kristina Rhianoff)

The Eye of the Tiger

WOW WARNING! DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME

TRAINING: Week 3
The Dance: The Paso Doble.
Music: Eye of the Tiger, Survivor.
Debrief: Saturday 4 July (someone stank of drink, someone didn’t show up).
Training Days: Sunday 5 July through to Thursday 10 July.

Training Hours: Enough to get through dance ok, including a snatched couple of hours on Sunday with Mark, missing a lunch drinks party and the Wimbledon Final.

New nicknames this week: Three, Brian on Diana - Little Bo Peep; Brian on himself - Tony (as in Tony Soprano – due to Brian’s vocal delivery in heavy duty Bronx accent, and him seeming to be tougher than ever on all of us, especially with regards to the difficulty level of ‘tricks’); Diana on Mark - Daddy Longlegs.

No of Liquorice allsorts consumed this week: One full box (half price from TK Maxx – Woo Hoo!). Even ate the nasty little nubs of pure liquorice. Always start with pink and yellow coconut ones. TMI, sorry.

Heated Debate of the Week: Brian and Simone.
Most over-used word of the Week: Cambridge.

WOW Sense of Achievement Rating (scale of low through to high): High.

Three tricky tricks: Brian pushed Mark and I to the limit for daring, with twists on the standard dance and character themes for the pase doble. . . the bull, the cape, the matador and the flamenco dancer.

Brian to Di:
"you'll have a couple of centimetres clearance"
(note Brian's right hand!)

and we did!
thank goodness for Daddy Longlegs

The ‘Ouch’ Factor: Quite a few.

clearly Mark can feel the strain
of my incredible Liquorice Allsorts diet

Top ‘Ouch’ prize this week however goes to Harry Maule. . .

. . .for dancing beyond his pain boundaries to create the most beautiful, loving Viennese Waltz with Michelle. Their dancing even made James ‘Dread Judge’ Jordan emotional: Result!

This week we all had usual number of sessions with Brian and Pippa Roberts.

Pippa and Mark demonstrate
the highs and lows of separation

the long and short of the sixteens
and the little and large of the side steps
of the pase doble

The fragrant Marilyn Monroe Lookee Likee, Kristina Rhianoff joined us. She is lovely – superb dancer, obviously, but also pleasantly empathetic, and also has emotional depth. Good teacher as well.

as you will note from this photo,
my eyes should be envious green, not Tiger hazel in colour

The Show
Number of Bouquets received: Nil
Number of Cards received: 3 – including another lovely Thank you one from Mark. He wrote: "Di, Thank you for being so patient and training so hard. Week 3, let’s see if we can make Week 4 !! Love Mark, Your Matador x" (loving the Matador look Marky)
.
Wardrobe: Wonderful Wardrobe Mistress Louise Egan, and her support team including the v funny Jane ‘Popper’ Spice have done it again.They produced a stunning costume, the colour ways in muted golds, greens, almost simulating tiger fur/and eyes.
Only trouble is it’s a two piece, v short bolero top and below waist skirt, and all that belly flop space in between. Lou texted me a picture of the outfit, then on Tuesday Jane brought it over. I was holding myself in so much almost turned blue, but hey, with the flesh coloured body stocking, you can't see the odd ripple of flesh or the two tiny holes in my tum where there once was a sapphire belly button piercing. I’d had it done nearly 10 years ago, it looked great, until I put on weight (overdosing on stress and cortisol hormones as CEO of a charity 2003-2005). The belly ring disappeared between two comfy spare tyres of fat. Had to remove it. Could go back in again no trouble now…eurghhhh, WOW wonders if this is just TMI. Sorry.

Make-up: The fabulous Edith is my make-up artist.

Edith spray paints me
(Ed: what are you? a car?
I've seen Skodas with better colour than that.)
number of liquorice allsorts WOW wishes she'd eaten: zero

amount of make-up required: none

Cutting Floor Comment: My comment about the BBC Licence Fee payers.

the devil's in the detail, eh David?

WOW’s quote of the Week: (as I am about to go onto the dance floor) “Just going to make final check on the seat-belt, otherwise – Di, SPLAT.”

Finally, we're on: Hours and hours of effort for a minute and a half of spine tingling joy. (Now, what does that remind WOW of?)

and. . .
we're through to the semi-finals!

For all you FFs out there! The Eyes of the Tiger. . .

THE UNREAL WORLD OF REALITY TELEVISION

DANCING ON WHEELS

aka
HEELIES AND WHEELIES
I’M A RASPBERRY – GET ME OUT OF HERE!
THE EGO HAS LANDED
STRICTLY COME
THE (S)EX FACTOR
POPPER IDOL (NB: Wardrobe Fever Productions)
MEALIES ON WHEELIES (Channel 4 Production, Sponsored by Saga, starring Steve and Lucy)
HOLE IN THE FLOOR (featuring Mark Foster, Hollywood Hill and a missing anti-tip wheel)

THE CAST - STARRING:

BRIAN fantastic FORTUNA aka The Boss, TC (Tom Cruise)
* PIPPA ‘Gone with the Wind’ ROBERTS aka The Maltese Falcon
and
KRISTINA Strictly no Sergeant RHIANIOFF aka Marilyn Monroe
* SANDRA fantastic FORTUNA and marvellous MONICA
* DIANA Mermaid MORGAN-HILL
aka Hollywood Hill, Dirty Diana (rip MJ), Drama Queen,
Hopalong, Cry Baby, The Horn of Plenty and
occasional Princess and Lady
*

HARRY man crush MAULE and PAUL pass me The Prodigy JACOB
*

JAMES bunny hop O’SHEA
* SIMONE MILANI and CAROLYNE UNDERWOOD
*

Dancing On Wheels also stars - THE CELEBRITIES
(AKA ‘THE EXTRAS’)

MARK Mr Neptune FOSTER
aka
Cockfoster, the Body, Greek God….ad infintum,
previously known as: Stick Insect on Acid (RIP)
*
HEATHER the Rack SMALL
*

MICHELLE Disney Princess GAYLE
*
CAROLINE (she’s the really fit one) FLACK
*
KEVIN strictly loads of Camilla SACRE, KRISTINA
and MARTIN chariots of cash OFFIAH